defluxxus:

one direction needs to do an 18+ tour where all they do is strip on stage while singing touch my body

if you ever think that you’ve made a big mistake, just remember that in 1788 the Austrian army attacked itself and lost 10,000 men

(Source: scienceing)

circumcisions:

procrastinators are able to do 30 minutes of work in 8 hours and 8 hours of work in the 30 minutes before it’s due

wwiao:

have you ever been reading a book and youre like half way down the page when you realize you havent really been reading your eyes have just been scanning over the words aimlessly  you know

vgly:

dumbfuckery:

I stole this kid’s neopets account and when I checked my email I find this
 

omg

coolscar:

when you put a spoon under a running faucet and it does the thing